Workshop Three Review: Drafting and Organisation

In this workshop we looked at issues involved in drafting a new text. We read the first draft of a letter from one NGO to another and began the task of re-writing it.

The letter showed a number of communication problems which are common in writing for an unknown audience. It has all the information but it is not reader-friendly. It does not give the reader a clear route map and signposts about the text's topic, purpose and intended outcome. Also, it does not completely fulfil its brief, which is to request a meeting.

To give the reader a better route map, the letter needs to be:

* better organised in terms of paragraphs
* clearer in its purpose - to suggest cooperation and request a meeting
* more aware of its target audience
* more concise in its use of language (too many long words!)

Your homework is to write an improved version of this letter.

Drafting a New Text

When drafting a new text, I suggest the following approach:

1. Visualise an Outline: get an overall 'picture' of your text by planning out the paragraphs you will have. Give a purpose or title to each paragraph. Remember: everything can be changed later, but you need an initial vision to work on. If you are working in a team it is helpful to do this with others. You need a map of the whole text to work with.

2. Choose your Keywords: identify the keywords and pieces of information which can be used in each paragraph. Instead of sentences, note down useful words and phrases. In this letter, for example, the word 'cooperation' might trigger similar words like 'partnership', 'joint', 'working together', 'sharing resources'. These are the words that readers will remember.

3. Sequence: for each paragraph consider how words will be connected and the order in which the reader will get them. Plan the route the reader will take. In the body of the letter, for example, it might be helpful to have three main points to explain the benefits of cooperation: sharing premises and transportation; sharing costs; and communication with the local government. Which order should these three points be presented in? And can they be summarised in another way? For example: logistics, finance, communication.

4. Draft Topic Sentences: write a draft topic sentence for each paragraph. This is the main sentence of the paragraph, the one that holds it together. It usually comes at the beginning of the paragraph, but can also come at the end. The other sentences are supporting sentences. You may have a concluding sentence at the end, but this is more common in academic writing.

5. Connect: when you have a fairly detailed draft and you are happy with the content, consider how the paragraphs will be connected. How will each paragraph begin? Linking words, sometimes called 'signposts', do a lot of work in writing. They give the reader a route map. In this letter, good signposts to begin paragraphs might be:

'Further to....In the light of....Furthermore.....Given.....Therefore....'

Remember, these words can be changed later when you revise and edit. See the handout on signpost-words given in the last workshop.

Talking Points on Drafting

Here are some talking points from this workshop. They could apply to writing in any situation where you do not know the audience very well and/or you need to be tactful about what you say.

How do you start?
It's always useful to refer to a previous conversation, such as the phone call ('Following our phone conversation on 12 February....'), and give a brief phrase to introduce the topic ('the possibility of cooperation in Balanan'). It is also important to identify the purpose of the letter ('to propose a meeting to discuss'). Don't overload the first paragraph with lots of description or context.

How much background should you give?
In this letter, both sides are familiar with the civil war in Balanan so only a brief reference to the situation is needed. It is important to recognise the expertise of the audience and not 'talk down' to them. Rather than describe the situation it is better to give some details about the proposing NGO's decision to resume work in the country and what its aims are. Any background information should be designed to make way for the proposal about cooperation and not just be given for its own sake.-

How do you use potentially sensitive information?
The reference to the Secretary General's speech could be viewed either positively or negatively, depending on the other side's views. In this case, where there is uncertainty, it is better to omit the reference or use it further down the letter as a secondary point. A reference like this is only useful if it backs up the main purpose of the letter - to propose cooperation.

Also in this workshop we looked at:

* Bullet points: how and when to use them.
For more on bullet points see this post from an earlier web log: http://ictywritingcourse.blogspot.com/2005_05_26_ictywritingcourse_archive.html
* Visual layout
See the course book for more details.

Preview: In the fourth workshop we will look at editing. We will do some exercises on how to make your writing more effective at the level of sentences. There will be more writing tips, with 'before' and 'after' examples, on this web log later in the week.